It’s 12:30pm, and I’m already having a bad day.
I am tired, and I feel like I should just give up and go back to bed where I feel warm, cozy and away from my 99 problems.
I am aware that this is a far cry away from the joyful and exciting blog posts before, and I do stand by what I said then, but today is a day where I am just contemplating whether my decisions have been the right ones for myself.
I started university with the most amazing units, but five weeks down the track, I have found myself disengaged with them. I feel like I want to throw them away in the trash and start afresh.
I though that this is what I wanted for myself. I thought that taking these subjects made me feel inspired and ready to ‘ball up on em’, but no…
(we escalate… of course sometimes s**t go down when there’s a billion dollars in an elevator!)- Beyonce once again saving me with her creative lyrics.
Ok, where was I… oh yes…
I honestly feel that I have lost so much time doing things that I just don’t love, that I want a break from everything I’m doing to pursue the things that do make me happy. Sometimes I cry about it, sometimes I feel angry and push others out… I would call it being in the pursuit of happiness…. and it’s honestly uglier than you would think.
So… just another human, with emotions and thoughts… maybe some who read this can relate.. which would be nice. The vulnerability that I feel being here, writing down my most inner thoughts for everyone to see is refreshing, which is why I do it. (step right up boys and girls, come and see the workings of Olivia Nyoni’s brain!)
I’ll let you know when things get better/when I try to sort things out a little.