The idea of ‘having it all together’, and how it’s as unrealistic as walking corn

‘I have it all together’ is not something that I hear people say. It is not a saying (albeit a common saying) and if it were said as freely as I am implying here, it would definitely be incorrect. I feel that it is a notion, an idea that many people have about others who look like they’re getting everything done correctly and still manage to have a social life, a good body and plenty of sleep.

Now, what do I mean by ‘getting everything done’, you say? Well, that part is relatively ambiguous. It has a different meaning for everyone. To me, it lies in the academic department. When I think about an individual who I think ‘has it all together’, I imagine one of my friends in the eighth grade, Miranda*. Miranda* was a straight-A student, was involved in a truck load of extra-curricular activities, where she put 200% of her dedication and effort into every single one, was very popular with our whole year group, had many best friends (both of which are two completely different things), played the drums, guitar, trumpet, piano and also sung, and also had a family that was so solid and supportive of all her endeavours (it is spelt this way, I am Australian).

As I got older, and listened to people more (notably my parents) , I soon realised that this was all but a facade. Miranda* really did get good grades, but she made many mistakes behind closed doors to get the highest marks in public. The amount of failures she had to endure in her life to eventually succeed made me realise that this idea of one ‘having it all together’ is much like a ghost- we might see it and hear it, which causes us to think that it is real, but at the end of the day, there is always a backstory to why we did see it, and it is not always available to us at the moment.

Of course, the topic of ghosts is controversial because some people see them and therefore believe in them, some even believe in them without ever seeing them, and some people don’t believe in them at all.

I guess the point that I am trying to make is that perfection is not attainable. As corny and repetitive as that sounds, nobody is born perfect or eventually becomes perfect via the process of fermentation (I know, I know, fermentation is the anaerobic process where energy is released from glucose, and thus is not relevant to perfectionism. What I am trying to say here is that although fermentation breeds beautiful things at the end of it’s process, it has achieved improvement, not perfectionism.). Miranda* was just improving her life, and this was evident in her achievements and successes at school.

So, to conclude this rather difficult piece, I want you guys to know that you are your own success and failure. (Don’t be wary of the word failure. Failure helps us to grow. I personally would be more concerned if you didn’t fail at anything, anywhere.) Where you go from those successes and failures tells of the type of person you are. Remember, not every winner keeps on winning, and not every failure keeps on failing. Life is all about learning, falling and getting back up to try it again.

Be brave, be resilient and be the best that you can be.

Livinyo

*Miranda is a name in reference to one of my friends who’s identity I wish to keep private. She is an amazing girl, and someone who I still have the honour of calling a friend to this day.

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